So many opinions, so little time to voice them...I also just love the sound of my keyboard
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Early Morning TV
Then I switched to MSNBC Squak Box, nothing like waking up with a little sex news and market nes in the morning! I caught the interview with a hedge fund guy who is against the bail out. He was sharing the screen with another man who I assume is pro-bailout. I loove how diferent they were! The hedge fund guy never twitched, looked hot and calm. the other guy was gesticlating so wildly that half the time his arms didn't fit on the screen. His voice would raise and fall and it was jsut hillarious ot watch the scrawny "boy man" battle the man. My favorite was when the boy/man made a point about something and ht eman dodged it by saying "Thank you for bringing up that point, I as going to tak about it later, however, let me now talk about my third point which I believe is even more important." That's his answer to a particular question! I love it! What a great strategy! And mind you, never twitched a muscle!!!
OK I am going back to sleep now.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
gross
It has arrived...
In other news, as you know I have been following the Alitalia saga, for purely personal trip related reasons. Apparently, they are holding a public "for sale" campaign. So, if you happen to have unused liquid assets lying around, and you can guarantee "medium term" continuity of service, then here is all the info you need to know:
"Such expressions of interest shall have to be received at the offices of theYep. I hear it's a bargain!
Extraordinary Administrator, at Via Marchetti 111, 00148, Roma, within 30 September 2008, 12.00 a.m., together with all the documents necessary to evaluate such expressions of interest in view of starting potential negotiations."
I am not huge on the Onion, but this one's good
Obama Promises To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas
Monday, September 22, 2008
I"m Back!
I am not going to retype everything but suffice to say I am going to try to keep this thing from now on. We'll see how that goes!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Just a thought
So, i'll start with this question: In today's world of dating, what are the benchmarks by which you can judge where you stand with the guy when you first start dating?
I used to believe that certain things objectively meant that, even if he is not exclusive with you, he is leaning toward it. I always thought, for example, that when you meet each other's friends - no let me re-phrase it - when you meet the guy's friends, it's a sign that at least they like you enough to do the the "show'n'tel'n'judge" w/the boys. Now I am not so sure. Calling? What if that's just the guy's way of doing things? It's almost as if some of these things aren't happening then you are definitely NOT going anywhere. So, all I have left for "markers" is, really, either "the talk" or meeting the parents. What else is honestly left?
Thoughts?
GO BARACK!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Goodbye My Ipod
You've been with me for, a month shy of, three years. I still remember getting you in February, 2oo5. You arrived so perfect in that cute box and, unlike the IPods of today, you even had a real "in the wall" charger!!! I remember staying up nites to upload music and I've amassed over 2999 songs! I have so many memories associated with you! You were there for me! You've outlasted two of my boyfriends, countless sleepless nites, long train commutes and being dropped over and over again. In return, you got to go to Washington DC, Boston, Albany (ha!), upstate NY, NJ, San Francisco, Chile, cruise, London, and on countless trips to Long Island. You held music and for me and my eclectic (weird?) taste in music you held memories, of better and worse days.... I only wish I were not so stupid as to keep putting off and putting off backing you up on my laptop. After that big fiasco with the crushing of the laptop I lost all my backed up music :(. I also wish I remembered to transfer the list of songs out. Some of the songs I painstakingly looked for everywhere, others came from my wonderful friends, not so wonderful ex boyfriends and even less remarkable random dates. Ipod, I'll miss you.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Cashmere Mafia
With Cashmere Mafia, I don't know. Those rose glasses come off immediately. I think if the show seeks to empower women, it fails miserably. Essentially, I got two messages from the first episode. Well two and a half. The first was positive and reminiscent of Sex and the City - with your girlfriends by your side, anything is less miserable and life goes on no matter what else is crumbling around you. All you need are your trusted friends to sit you down and hand you a glass of wine. That part I liked. The other message(s) were less touching. There is no humility. The messages are (at least right now): the woman must ultimately pick between family/husband and great career. Message #2 was that men are dogs who cheat on their wives/can't put up with their girlfriends' success and ultimately just want to get laid and have their egos inflated Sure, I am not naive, I know it must be extremely difficult for powerful women to balance careers and having a family. I also have experienced first hand what it's like to have your boyfriend be jealous of your accomplishment, regardless of how silly that jealousy seems. I also understand that the premise of the show is to show it "like it is." One of the characters, after revealing to her friends after one of the friends saw her husband making out with their mortal enemy that she and the hubby have an arrangement that he gets to cheat on her, that "what can we expect from these men who earn less than we do, are not as powerful as we are ...blah blah." I understand all that with my mind, yet, at the same time, do I want this onerous message reinforced to me every Wednesday night at 10PM? I think not. I think I'm better off holding on to my Sex and the City ideal that for a modern woman in NYC, given time, it is possible to have "it all," whatever that "all" may be. In this world of positive thinking, I think we can all use a little more of that, no? Here is to hoping that NBC's Lipstick Jungle will be better!
The Falling-Down Professions
By ALEX WILLIAMS
Published: January 6, 2008
For lawyers and doctors, gold-embossed diplomas are no longer so golden.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
YELLOW BELT!!!!
http://www.dunnsdojo.com/index.html
And as much as I love karate, I must admit that watchign the Ju Jitsu class this morning was something else. All those men grappling each other. I don't know, stirred something in me. There were two women in the whole class. I don't know I guess it's more of a "manly" sport.
This is what I wish I could do
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z-v7zNkclME
This is what I actually do - to better music :)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TjiYauCN0Wg
Medical Errors et al
January 1, 2008
Cases
Explain a Medical Error? Sure. Apologize Too?
By SANDEEP JAUHAR, M.D.
Correction Appended
One morning not long ago, I got a call from the emergency room at my hospital. A young man — an intern, in fact, who had been on rounds that morning — had been admitted with chest pains. Could I come to evaluate him?
He was 30, a Pakistani man with a long face and a disconnected look, which I attributed to anxiety. I asked him about the pain. It had started after dinner the night before, lasting about 10 minutes. He had slept comfortably, but the pain recurred while he was walking to the bus stop that morning, persisting almost an hour. It was a dense pressure in the center of his chest. To be on the safe side, he had decided to leave rounds and come to the E.R.
His blood tests were normal, as was his first electrocardiogram. He had none of the traditional risk factors for heart disease. I suspected he was suffering from acute pericarditis, a usually benign inflammation of the membrane around the heart often treated with over-the-counter anti-inflammatory drugs. Characteristic of pericarditis, the pain worsened when he took a deep breath. I told him that if blood tests in six hours were normal, we would send him home. I joked that there were easier ways to get out of internship duty.
Later that morning, I got a call from an E.R. physician informing me that my patient’s pain had resolved completely after he took ibuprofen, further confirming the diagnosis of pericarditis. For a moment I considered sending him home right then, but I decided to wait until the next set of blood tests was complete.
Just before leaving the hospital that evening, I ran into a physicians’ assistant. He told me that my patient’s subsequent blood tests showed evidence of minor cardiac muscle damage. Though surprised, I quickly explained that the problem was probably myopericarditis, where inflammation of the surrounding membrane can partially involve the heart muscle.
He asked me whether the young doctor should have an angiogram to rule out artery blockages. It was late; I told him that any work-up could wait until morning. I assured him that a 30-year-old with no risk factors did not have coronary artery disease. I told him to draw more enzymes and to order a cardiac ultrasound for the morning, and to call me at home if there were problems.
My patient had chest pains through the night. Doctors who were called to see him attributed them to myopericarditis, the diagnosis written in the chart. Further blood tests showed evidence of continuing heart muscle injury. An EKG the following morning showed nonspecific signs consistent with a heart attack. Though I still doubted that he had coronary disease, I reluctantly sent him to the cardiac catheterization lab for an angiogram.
I received a call about an hour later asking me to come over to the lab. When I arrived, the angiogram was playing on a computer screen. It showed a complete blockage of the left anterior descending artery, the so-called widow-maker lesion. The artery looked like a lobster tail, unnaturally terminating after several centimeters. Within minutes, the blockage was opened with a balloon and a stent.
Afterward, in the control room, heat rose to my face as colleagues wandered in to inquire about what was going on. “How could we have missed this?” I asked aloud. I was well aware of the disturbing prevalence of heart disease in South Asians, whose risk is up to four times that of other ethnic groups. I knew that heart attacks in this population often occurred in men under 40, who often do not exhibit classic coronary risk factors. I knew all this, but somehow my mind had suffered a block.
“Don’t beat yourself up,” a colleague said sympathetically. “Every doctor I know would have done the same thing.” Another told me that it was his policy to “cath” almost anyone who came to the E.R. complaining of chest pains. In his opinion, the risks posed by routine angiograms were much less than that of a missed heart attack.
What now? I knew I had to explain myself, but how much should I say? Like all doctors, I had made errors before, but never one this big — and in my own specialty, too. Should I just tell my patient the facts? Should I apologize?
Most doctors are afraid to take responsibility for medical errors. We are acutely aware of the potential hazards — legal and professional — of taking ownership of a mistake. But studies have shown that physicians’ apologies do not necessarily increase malpractice lawsuits. In fact, they may protect against litigation. Twenty-nine states have enacted legislation encouraging such apologies, some even making physicians’ expressions of remorse inadmissible in court.
It was not always this way. Hospital legal departments routinely used to advise doctors never to admit responsibility for an error.
During my internship orientation nearly a decade ago, a lawyer for the hospital said that at some point in our careers every one of us would likely be sued. The lawyer offered some advice: document your decision-making; document when a patient refuses treatment; never admit wrongdoing; never talk to an opposing attorney; and, finally, be nice to your patients. Doctors who were nice to their patients were rarely sued, even in cases of egregious malpractice.
I couldn’t bring myself to talk to my patient in the cath lab, while everyone was watching, so I decided to wait until he got to the recovery room, where it was more private.
I found him there lying on a stretcher. The pain in his chest was gone, he happily informed me. However, the groin, where the catheter had been inserted, now hurt. “They substituted one pain for another,” he said, laughing.
I grasped the rails of the gurney. “I thought you had pericarditis,” I said carefully. “I was obviously wrong. I’m sorry.”
He seemed embarrassed. “No, no, please, the past is finished,” he replied. “I am more interested in the future.”
He asked about his prognosis. I told him that I thought it was good, though he would have to be on medications for the rest of his life. He nodded, looking disappointed.
A few days later, just before he was to be discharged, I stopped by his room. I asked him with whom he was going to follow up. He told me that he had been given the name of another cardiologist but that he had decided to go with me. “You have been terrific,” he said. “Thank you.”
I nodded silently, feeling empty. “You are much too generous,” I said.
Sandeep Jauhar is the author of a memoir, “Intern: A Doctor’s Initiation,” being published this month by Farrar, Straus & Giroux.
Correction: January 4, 2008
The Cases column in Science Times on Tuesday, about a doctor’s decision to apologize to a patient for a medical error, misstated the number of states that have enacted legislation encouraging such apologies. It is 29, not 17.
Great in '08
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Friday, January 4, 2008
Wow!
http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/
I do watch too much TV
I've also been watching the Sopranos on HBO on Demand. I love that show, it's so fun. Today I learned that keeping secrets may (or may not) give you "fake" back pain. The pain is real but its not because there is something actually wrong with the back, but it hurts. Tony Soprano looks like my cousin in law's brother since he gained weight :).
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Obama won in Iowa. I wish I was into politics, this would've been a very exciting 11 months during the presidential elections. I can't even make up my mind if I should vote Republican or Democratic. I Just don't really care either way. When Congress changed everyone was like "Oh you'll see remarkable changes blah blah blah." I've seen none so far.
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In case you are wondering what to wear in 2008, here is an article for you that will explain it all - or at least attempt to. Here is my favorite quote. "My bag is in red patent leather and pony (skin). I know it is just a bag, but I absolutely love it. It makes me so happy to carry it - and happiness is a trend everyone can follow." And this one "Where jeans are concerned, however, trends don't count for much. The most stylish jeans are not the widest or narrowest; they're the ones that fit the best." I totally agree. I also don't know why I don't own a single pair of skinny jeans. I did get one "in trend" - "Mid-length hair with bangs" :) :) :)!
Sun sets on the empire line
All those empire-waist gowns and tops that looked so stylish not so long ago suddenly have turned into the fashion equivalent of pumpkins, morphing from au courant to out-of-date as quickly as the New Year's clocks chimed 12. Or so say northern hemisphere trend-watchers.
The high-waisted "baby-doll" look, which topped most must-have lists in early 2007, is one of several trends predicted to take a tumble early in 2008.
"Baby-doll tops - my clients are totally over them," says Wendy Ricchi, owner of the ZouZou boutique in Orlando.
Berri Morris of the Coralia Leets Boutique in Winter Park, Florida, is even more blunt: "High waists make you look pregnant. My customers do not want to look pregnant. They work out. They're in good shape. They want clothes that show off their shape."
Also on the way out are micro-miniskirts, shapeless tunics and extremely low-rise jeans, say boutique owners.
Those styles will be replaced by fitted tops, belted dresses and trousers with higher waistbands.
On the footwear front, metallic ballerina flats are losing their lustre. "We are all ready for a new shape in flats," says Paige Blackwelder, co-owner of Tuni in Winter Park.
Gladiator sandals promise to be the new favourite. "They are super-cute with anything - jeans, skirts, dresses, Bermuda shorts," says Ricchi. "Any age can wear them. They instantly update last year's outfits. I love them in patent leather black, white, pink, yellow or purple."
Patent leather - for handbags, belts and shoes - is one of the few current trends that promises to last well into the new year. Other holdouts include trench coats, capri pants, clutch bags and platform shoes. But make that "hidden platforms," where the shoe leather wraps over the platform sole, providing elevation without clunkiness, says Melixa Carbonell, co-owner of Shou'Ture in Winter Park.
Make the belts either extra-wide or super-slim and go for extremes in bags as well.
"A big, bold bag in a favourite color is a trend I love," says Erin Skalde, owner of Redhead Boutique in Orlando. "My bag is in red patent leather and pony (skin). I know it is just a bag, but I absolutely love it. It makes me so happy to carry it - and happiness is a trend everyone can follow."
"Green" fashions made from eco-friendly materials such as bamboo were big in 2007. They will be huge in '08, predicts Carina Graham, a buyer for the Downeast boutiques in Winter Park and Celebration, Florida.
Emerald green will also be a key colour come the northern spring - along with yellow, coral, fuchsia and white. Expect to see all those shades swirled into oversized, abstract prints. "Big, bold floral prints, not Laura Ashley-style minuscule florals," says Courtney Karem, owner of Courtney K Couture in Orlando.
Fashion leaders are less certain about trends in jeans styles. Skalde has been debating the subject with her sales clerks, most of whom are university students.
The students think skinny jeans are on the way out, says Skalde. "I feel they are becoming a wardrobe staple, not a trend. I continue to replenish my wardrobe with interesting washes and styles. I wear them tucked in my favourite boots or as an alternative to leggings."
Where jeans are concerned, however, trends don't count for much. The most stylish jeans are not the widest or narrowest; they're the ones that fit the best.
As clothing fashions transition from funky to refined, so do hair and makeup styles. The beauty look for 2008 is "simple, clean and sexy," says Douglas Marvaldi, owner of the Marvaldi Hair & Makeup Studio in Winter Park, an Intercoiffure salon.
The Intercoiffure style guide for 2008 calls for precision-cut, mid-length hair with bangs and subtle highlights. And for light, luminous makeup in pretty shades of pink.
Tousled "bed hair" and deep plum lipstick may have been the "in" look yesterday. Strange to think both already seem dated, along with most fashions featured on 2007's "in" lists.
What's In, What's Out
In/Out
Belted dresses/Trapeze dresses
Fitted tops/Baby-doll tops
Prints (abstract, floral, animal) /Stripes, dots
Bright colors (yellow, coral, fuchsia, emerald) /muted colours
Long dresses /Miniskirts
Full-leg trousers/Skinny pants
Higher waistbands /Super-low waistbands
Bermuda shorts /Short shorts
Gladiator sandals /Ballet flats
Hidden platforms /Stiletto pumps
Patent leather /Distressed leather
Trench coats /Puffer jackets
Sleek totes /Bags with multiple pockets, buckles, zippers
Bold necklaces, cuffs, rings /Delicate jewellery
Mid-length hair with bangs /Long, straight hair
Subtle highlights /"skunk stripes"
Precision cuts/Messy "bed hair"
Pretty pink makeup /Dramatic glitter makeup
--------------------------Top five food trends for 2008

Smoothing the way ... probiotics have moved beyond yoghurt and can now be found in a range of foods.
Photo: Jill Dupleix
It's that trend-obsessed time of year when everyone's looking back at the past year and forward to chart the likely trends of the next. Here are some picks for the five food trends that you'll be hearing the most about in 2008:
Probiotics
The functional-food trend will probably continue to run rampant, with producers adding all kinds of nostrums to all kinds of products and touting them as formulations for the brain or for the heart, for older women or for the overstressed. But expect to hear the most about probiotics - beneficial bacteria. It's not just yogurt anymore; bacteria-enriched products are showing up all over the supermarket, from cereal to baby food to fizzy kombucha fermented-tea drinks. Expect, too, to see more "prebiotics" - foods that provide nourishment for the good-guy bugs in your digestive system.
Backlash against bottled water
Once so chic, bottled water is becoming, as one US newspaper put it, "the environmentally incorrect Humvee of beverages." It's under attack for its effects on the environment, from its depletion of water sources to its carbon footprint to the problem of all those discarded plastic bottles. Plus the fact that it costs more than petrol, while tap water, which is held to more rigorous contamination standards than bottled, is basically free.
Chemical-free food
Food producers are beginning to feel pressure to remove the additives - preservatives, stabilisers, colouring; all those chemicals and such that you can't pronounce - from their cans and packages. "In 2008," says market researcher Mintel, "we will see more products with ingredient labels that read like a home recipe rather than a chemist's shopping list."
Fair trade
With organic food now solidly ensconced in the mainstream, look for fair-trade products to become the next big focus of conscience-driven consumers. The movement seeks fair wages and treatment for workers in developing countries.
Fancy salt
While health activists press for lower-sodium processed foods, upscale "designer" salts are going mainstream. Black, pink, purple; flavoured with aromatics; from the Himalayas or Peru - fancy salts are moving from specialty stores to supermarkets.
------------HAHAHAHAHA
Dear Prudie,
My future mother-in-law and I have a difficult relationship. She doesn't approve of me, and hasn't been positive about my relationship with her son since we first got together five years ago in high school. She's a medical aesthetician, and for the past two or three years, she's been hounding me every so often to let her laser off any unwanted body hair. These conversations generally take place during meals and involve her listing all the places she could zap off hair, while I politely say, "No, thank you," to each one. The idea of this woman, who already despises me, spending an afternoon zeroing in on my body hair is enough to nearly give me an anxiety attack. My fiance tells me that I need to go through with this so that she'll feel needed and be happy, but I feel like having all my body hair lasered off is a high price to pay for familial acceptance. How do I get out of this once and for all? Or am I just being ridiculous?
—A Hairy Situation
Dear Hairy,
The image of you defenseless on the table while your future mother-in-law aims a laser at you is too horrifyingly reminiscent of that scene in Goldfinger in which the eponymous villain has Bond strapped to a table as a laser slowly moves toward his private parts. So, in answer to: Are you being ridiculous? No, I don't think it's ridiculous that you take offense at dinner conversations that revolve around your superfluous hair, and that you're annoyed that after three years of declining her offers to zap you, she still persists. Let me assure you that if you go through with this, she'll come up with other things that need removing, like you from her son's life. Obviously you and your fiance are very young, but I'm afraid that if he's encouraging you to have his mother laser your body to make her feel needed, you need to rethink his readiness as husband material. Tell him you're done discussing this with his mother, and if he won't back you up completely, give him a bottle of Nair as a parting gift and ask him to pass it on to Mom.
—Prudie
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Dearest Prudence,
My wife and I have been married for a little over a year, and it's been absolutely idyllic, except for one problem: Since we've wed, my wife has taken to belching and farting all the time. We dated for several years before we tied the knot, and I heard her pass gas only once. She turned beet red, laughed hysterically, and then cried out of embarrassment. I can't believe how much she's changed. Now she's at the point of rippin' 'em several times a day without much acknowledgment at all. I've had several gentle discussions asking her to dismiss herself into other rooms, try to "keep the magic," etc., but these have all been met with hostility and resentment. Not only that, but the problem only gets worse after we talk about it. It's gotten to the point of severely impacting my sex drive. I would think she would understand; the one time I let one go, she got mad at me for killing the romance! Any suggestions?
Dear Prudie,
I've suffered from panic attacks since I was around 16, and I'm now 32. Life has been poor because I've been afraid of doing things. Four years ago, I got a girlfriend who's been with me through thick and thin. She helped me get through my panic attacks and find a better doctor. I started cognitive behavioral therapy about 10 months ago. The effects have been life-changing. My doctor suggested I make a bunch of changes so I'd feel better about myself, and my girlfriend has helped me with painting my condo, getting me a new wardrobe, furniture, etc. Unfortunately, she's 37 and lives with her parents. It didn't bother me in the past, because I was so grateful to have any kind of female company, but now that I'm getting better, I see my 14 years on medication as lost time that I want to make up for. I'm worried she's going to improve me to the point where I'll no longer want to be with her. Whereas in the past I was grateful to be dating someone who was helping me get better, I'm afraid that in the long run, I'll just develop the self-confidence to want to date someone younger than I am who lives by herself. Would leaving her be reprehensible, or should I stay with her out of a sense of duty?
—Panic-Free/Guilt-Ridden
Dear Panic-Free,
I'm delighted to hear the cognitive behavioral therapy has been such a success and that you feel you're reclaiming your life. However, it's less delightful that the first thing you want to do with this new life is be an ungrateful jerk. This devoted woman was good enough when you were lonely and suffering. But now that's she helped you overcome your illness, you want to dump her for a younger model. First of all, five years is not a major age difference. Second, if she's 37 and still living with her parents, there are things holding her back from living a completely independent life, and maybe it's your turn to help her. I can't encourage you to be with someone out of guilt and pity, but have you truly had this woman as your girlfriend for four years only because you felt you couldn't do any better? Surely over that time you two have built something together—she certainly has invested a lot in your well-being. Since your therapy's going so well, discuss with your doctor what kind of romantic choices a decent person in your position would make.
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Household Employment Signaling Greater Weakness
The Bureau of Labor Statistics’ survey of households has for the last year shown far weaker job growth than its larger and more closely followed survey of payrolls, even when the two define jobs the same way.
In December, nonfarm payrolls rose 18,000 while household employment plunged 436,000. But such monthly changes are hard to compare because the two surveys define employment differently. For example, the household survey counts the self-employed, while the payroll survey doesn’t. The payroll survey counts someone with two jobs twice, while the household survey counts him once. Moreover, the household sample is far smaller and thus more volatile. By design, its raw data is never revised, which imparts a false sense of reliability.
Still, once those adjustments are made, the picture remains the same. Household employment has risen just 100,000 since December 2006 and when the definition of employment is changed to match that of the payroll survey, the increase is just 375,000, according to the BLS. The increase in nonfarm payrolls was 1,270,000 in the same period. Some of that latter increase will be trimmed during the BLS’ annual benchmark revisions to be released next month. It has previously estimated payrolls would be revised down for the 12 months through last March by 297,000, which, assuming an average monthly reduction of 25,000, would reduce the 12-month increase through December by just 75,000. But the downward revisions could be larger given the arrival of more comprehensive quarterly state unemployment records for subsequent periods. –Greg Ip
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Thursday, January 3, 2008
NYTimes Never Disappoints
I think this is a great NYTimes article. What strikes me is the 44 year old chef on the Facebook. I remember Facebook when it first started around late 2003/early 2004. It was just a few schools and you could only be friends with people in those schools. Also, it was so much simpler and I still miss the "my friends and my friends' friends only" can see my profile. Oh those were the days. Also I guess the article is just relevant to the whole Jdate/match.com etc. world.
Putting Your Best Cyberface Forward
DO you bite your nails? Have you pierced your tongue? Is your tote bag emblazoned with the words “I’m not a plastic bag”?
People look and act the way they do for reasons too numerous to fit into any therapist’s notebook. Yet we commonly shape our behavior or tweak our appearance in an attempt to control how others perceive us.
Some call it common sense. Social scientists call it “impression management” and attribute much of their understanding of the process to the sociologist Erving Goffman, who in a 1959 book, “The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life,” likened human interactions to a theatrical performance.
Now that first impressions are often made in cyberspace, not face-to-face, people are not only strategizing about how to virtually convey who they are, but also grappling with how to craft an e-version of themselves that appeals to multiple audiences — co-workers, fraternity brothers, Mom and Dad.
“Which image do you present?” asked Mark R. Leary, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke, who has been studying impression management in the real world for more than 20 years. Like other scholars, he is now examining the online world through the lens of impression management — studies that sometimes put an academic gloss on insights that seem obvious, and at other times yield surprising results.
“We’ve been struck by the dilemma people are in,” Mr. Leary said of a study he began last month about how people edit their online personas. “Some people seem to pick an audience. Other people pick and choose the best parts of themselves. As a professor, my Facebook page is just watered down. I can’t have pictures of me playing beer pong.”
People, of course, have been electronically styling themselves for as long as there has been a Web to surf. But scholars say the mainstreaming of massive social networking and dating sites — which make it easy to publicly share one’s likes, dislikes, dreams and losses in a modern mutation of the Proust Questionnaire — is prompting more people to “perform” for one another in increasingly sophisticated ways.
Indeed, today’s social networking and dating sites are “like impression management on steroids” said Joseph B. Walther, a professor of communication and telecommunication at Michigan State University. But because they are still new forms of communication, “people don’t have a very strong sense yet of what they’re doing or what the best practices are,” he said.
Among Mr. Walther’s findings is that the attractiveness of the friends on your Facebook profile affects the way people perceive you. In a study to be published this year in Human Communication Research, a journal, Mr. Walther and colleagues found that Facebook users who had public postings on their wall (an online bulletin board) from attractive friends were considered to be significantly better looking than people who had postings from unattractive friends.
“We disproved the Paris Hilton hypothesis,” said Mr. Walther, explaining that this traces to a quote attributed to Ms. Hilton: “All you have to do in life is go out with your friends, party hard and look twice as good” as the woman next to you.
“That’s not true,” Mr. Walther said.
Many of the self-presentation strategies observed by scholars will seem obvious to experienced Internet users: improving one’s standing by linking to high status friends; using a screen name like “Batman” or “007” when in reality one is more like Austin Powers; referring to one’s gleaming head as “shaved” not “bald”; using cutesy emoticons to charm the demographic that forwards inspirational chain mail; demonstrating leadership by being the first to adopt and turn others onto the latest Facebook applications; listing one’s almost-career as a D.J. or model rather than the one that pays the bills; making calculated decisions about what to list as interests or favorite books.
“If someone lists some obscure Romanian title, is that person really smart or are they pretentious?” said Judith Donath, an associate professor of media arts and sciences at the Media Lab at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, who studies social aspects of computing.
In one study of online dating, professors at Rutgers, Georgetown and Michigan State found that in the absence of visual and oral cues, single people develop their own presentational tactics: monitoring the length of their e-mail messages (too wordy equals too desperate); limiting the times during which they send messages (a male subject learned that writing to women in the wee hours makes them uncomfortable); and noting the day they last logged on (users who visit the site too infrequently may be deemed unavailable or, worse, undesirable).
The scholars found it common for online daters to fudge their age or weight, or to post photographs that were five years old. Also, the world is round and the chemical symbol for water is H2O.
In general, scholars do not think of impression management as an intentionally deceptive or nefarious practice. It is more like social lubrication without a drink in your hand. Those studying it online have found that when people misrepresent themselves, it is often because they are attempting to express an idealized or future version of themselves — someone who is thinner or has actually finished Dante’s “Inferno.”
“Everyone felt pretty strongly that they tried to be honest,” said Jennifer Gibbs, one of the authors of the online dating study and an assistant professor of communication at Rutgers. (N.B.: Ms. Gibbs met her husband on Match.com.) “They justified slight misrepresentations or distortions on trying to stand out,” she said, adding that online and offline, people experience tension between telling the truth and showcasing themselves in the most flattering light.
Some misrepresentation stems from the actual structure of networking sites. For instance, people who decide to grow younger on dating Web sites often do so by a couple of years because they would otherwise be filtered out of search results that use age brackets. Ms. Gibbs said most people had “no qualms” about forgetting a few birthdays as long as they came clean upon meeting someone.
Coming clean about misrepresentations is less of an issue on social networking sites, where people are not as likely to deviate too far from the truth because their network of friends will simply call them on it. Scholars do suggest, though, that the photographs people post on the sites are about more than showing what individuals look like. Rather, members carefully choose photos to display aspects of their personalities.
Catherine Dwyer, a lecturer at Pace University who studies online behavior, said young men on MySpace commonly do this by posing with their cars.
“I use photos that describe me,” said Leonard Alonge, 44, a chef and actor in Delray Beach, Fla., who is a member of Facebook. “Photos of me in the kitchen, photos of me with friends. I use it to describe my personality: friendly, outgoing, nothing very explicit. I’m a pretty conservative person. I was raised in a Roman Catholic family.”
Clare Richardson, 17, of Los Angeles, is applying to colleges and is therefore mindful of what she posts on Facebook, but she knows teenagers who “want to appear to be the partying type,” she said. They post pictures that seem to prove it even if it is not true. “It’s clear they’re trying to impress everyone out there,” Ms. Richardson said.
Keith N. Hampton, an assistant professor at the Annenberg School for Communication at the University of Pennsylvania, said the notion of impressing “everyone out there” is the fundamental problem of networking sites. They are designed so that millions see the same image of a member.
For online impression management to be effective, Mr. Hampton said, the sites should be redesigned to allow people to reveal different aspects of their identity to different users. You should be able to present one face to your boss, and another to your poker buddies. “We have very real reasons for wanting to segment our social network,” he said.
But what of that breed of users who, despite all the warnings, could care less who sees what? They continue to post salacious photographs of themselves. They reveal deeply personal information. They inspire parental tsk-ing. They open themselves up to identity theft, hurt feelings and job loss.
And that may be the point.
“Today, posting revealing or culpable material online arguably has become another forum for signaling imperviousness to danger and repercussions,” Ms. Donath wrote in a paper published in October in The Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication. “They may be indicating that their future is so secure that no social network site indiscretion would jeopardize it, or they may be showing their alienation from the sort of future where discretion is needed. For such users, the risk itself is the benefit.”
I also saw the ads for the new Celebrity Apprentice - what a motley crew of TV execs, boxing champs, Omarosa and Olympic Gold medalists for sports people don't really watch. Oh well.
Yesterday was the new episode of one of my favorite shows - Project Runway. I looooooooooove that show!!! Yesterday's premise was interesting - the designers had to go to Hershey's Times Square and get all the candy stuff in 5 minutes to create outfits later. One of the designers I am rooting for, Jillian, made a gorgeous red dress out of Twizzlers. It was great! I like how they make it into the drama as in "oh man I'll never finish this Twizzler dress b/c candy is coming off of it" and of course she did finish it and it was perfect. I am rooting for Christian, Jillian and/or Rani because the three of them are great.
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What a fun site!!! http://www.winkingskull.com/navigation.aspx
You can review your anatomy there :).
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Gotta love Slate
A Turn of the Corkscrew
How American sommeliers put their French counterparts to shame.
By Mike SteinbergerPosted Wednesday, Jan. 2, 2008, at 8:05 AM ET
To judge by all the reverence they are accorded, you'd think chefs were the most interesting people on the planet. In truth, they are sometimes not even the most interesting people in their own restaurants. Often, that distinction belongs to the sommelier. Not only are their life experiences frequently more varied than those of many chefs—wine cellars are crawling with academic overachievers and white-collar refugees—their motivations are also quite different. While high-end restaurant cooking in the United States is increasingly marked by the pursuit of celebrity and lucre, wine service is generally guided by another impulse: a desire to educate and enthuse. With their missionary zeal, America's sommeliers have helped convert us from a nation of beer chuggers into a land of Riesling aficionados. Along the way, they have revolutionized their own profession, turning a dead-end, white-men-only métier into an exemplar of upward mobility and diversity.
Although the role of wine waiter did not originate in France—it apparently dates back to the Greeks and Romans—the job took its modern form there, which was good in some respects, not so good in others. On the plus side, the French invested the otherwise ho-hum business of opening and pouring wine with ceremony and élan. On the down side, they brought a pronounced hauteur to the task. Like most stereotypes, the image of the surly French sommelier contains a kernel of truth—more than a kernel, actually. Condescension and humorlessness have long been defining features of French wine service, which can probably be attributed to two factors: Many French sommeliers came to the job not by choice but by conscription, and the position has usually been a life sentence. In France, the sommelier was often someone who entered the restaurant trade as a barely pubescent teen with dreams of becoming a chef (and no prospect of attending university). Then, deemed unworthy of a place at the stove, our man (and it was always a man) got shunted off to the wine cellar, where he was condemned to spend the rest of his working days in the shadow of the egomaniacal prick who beat him out in the kitchen. This was not a recipe for service with a smile. The word sommelier is derived from an Old French term for "beast of burden," and French sommeliers have tended to go about their work with an attitude befitting that etymology.
By contrast, professional wine service is a recent phenomenon in the United States (it only really started in the 1980s), and took root in very different fashion. The pioneering figures here—Kevin Zraly (Windows on the World), Daniel Johnnes (Montrachet), Larry Stone (Charlie Trotter's, Rubicon)—were all college-educated and came to wine out of passion, not because they were frog-marched into the bottle room. They saw their role as mainly pedagogical, an outlook perfectly tailored to a time when Americans were developing an interest in wine. They made wine service educational, and they made it fun. They also brought an entrepreneurial spirit to the work; rather than let the role of sommelier define them, they defined it.
Consider, for instance, Johnnes, now (along with Stone) the dean of American sommeliers. In 1985, Drew Nieporent put him in charge of the wine service at Montrachet, a restaurant he was opening in Tribeca. Johnnes, taking his inspiration from the restaurant's name—Montrachet is the grandest of grand cru white Burgundies—assembled a spectacular cellar, and he and the wine list became the restaurant's star attractions (not that the food wasn't also good). In the late '80s, Johnnes began bringing in some of the unknown wines that he had discovered on trips to France. Today, the 52-year-old New Yorker has a thriving import business with a roster full of impressive names, oversees wine operations for Daniel Boulud's restaurant group, and has even become a winemaker himself: He is now producing a small amount of red Burgundy with the help of Frédéric Mugnier, one of the region's most esteemed vignerons, and is also doing an Oregon pinot noir with the assistance the talented Eric Hamacher. He also hosts what is unquestionably the world's greatest wine event, La Paulée de New York (a bacchanal modeled after the annual postharvest festival in Meursault) and has become Burgundy's de facto American ambassador.
Younger sommeliers are following similar paths. Richard Betts, the 36-year-old wine boss at the Little Nell in Aspen, Colo., is a refugee from academia. He had just completed a masters in geology in 1996 and was heading off to law school when an epiphanic bottle of Italian wine persuaded him to abandon con law and torts before he'd even started and to pursue a career in gastronomy instead. Now, in addition to his day job at the highly acclaimed Little Nell, Betts is producing wine under his own label on three continents—in Napa Valley, in Australia's Barossa Valley, and in France's northern Rhône Valley, where he has the help of the brilliant young winemaker Jean-Louis Chave.
But no American sommelier has had greater success using the cellar door as a portal to other opportunities than Andrea Robinson (previously Andrea Immer). A former investment banker, Robinson began her wine career working for Zraly at Windows on the World. Today, she is America's foremost wine personality and popularizer, with multiple books, DVDs, television shows, and industry gongs (including a master sommelier degree) to her credit. Encouraged by Robinson's example, women have come flooding into restaurant wine service, to the point where it is becoming blessedly harder to find a top American table that doesn't have at least one female sommelier. By contrast, I have personally ever seen only one woman wine steward in a French three-star restaurant, and she was an apprentice from Japan. The profession in France remains a fraternity in the truest sense of the term.
And it is not just in the realm of gender that America has changed the sommelier beat: Wine service in the United States is also multiethnic and multiracial. African-Americans, Chinese-Americans, Korean-Americans, and many other hyphenated Americans are now pouring Cabernets and Chardonnays professionally. One of the country's brightest young sommeliers is Indian-born Rajat Parr, who oversees wine for San Francisco chef Michael Mina's restaurant conglomerate. Parr, 35, says he didn't encounter any resistance when he was breaking into the sommelier trade and that the business is open to anyone with the knowledge and desire to hack it. "Just come and prove yourself," he says. Here, too, the contrast with France is vast. France may be a multicultural country, but wine service there is still a strictly Caucasian affair, and the few exceptions are made to feel their exceptionalness. Hideya Ishizuka, a Japanese sommelier who spent a decade working at a Michelin-starred restaurant in Bordeaux and who now owns a restaurant in Paris, recently told me that many French clients simply refused to accept the idea that he had wine advice worth heeding.
Parr says that trips to France early in his career taught him valuable lessons in how not to be a sommelier, but he thinks things are beginning to change there, a point echoed by Betts. They both say that younger French wine waiters, encouraged by the examples being set here, are showing clients greater respect and are trying to make the experience more convivial. The American model has perhaps been too successful: Johnnes worries that many newer sommeliers nowadays are so ambitious and in such a rush to become stars that they aren't willing to put in the time it takes to really master the craft. This, coupled with the fact that demand for skilled sommeliers is outstripping supply at the moment, suggests there may be problems ahead. On balance, though, these are good problems to have, and given a choice between American-style wine service and the traditional French approach, I'll stick with ours, thanks.
Who would have thought, 25 years ago, that anyone would ever say that?
Mike Steinberger is Slate's wine columnist.Article URL: http://www.slate.com/id/2180456/
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Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Things I don't understand
On New Year's Eve I witnessed my first car crash. The scary part was that it could've been my dad's car. We were driving on Staten Island when a guy cut us off and ended up first at the red light. A few seconds later there was a bus speeding down the perpendicular street trying to make a left and cutting off the car in the other lane. The car that the bus cut off ended up slamming into the car at the red light that cut us off. One of the cars began smoking. I shudder to remember it to this day.
Two articles I find very interesting
Still Skinny, but Now They Can Cook - this one is about the popular vegan/girl power book "Skinny Bitch." It promotes a healthy, non Diet Coke lifestyle. Actually, in Diet Coke, or Coke Zero, news, I've not had a single Coke Zero in over 2 weeks!!!! Personal best!
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/02/dining/02skin.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all
The Scourge of the Billable Hour Could law-firm clients finally kill it off?
By Lisa Lererhttp://www.slate.com/id/2180420/