Yes, the blog is officially BACK IN BUSINESS! :)
So, i'll start with this question: In today's world of dating, what are the benchmarks by which you can judge where you stand with the guy when you first start dating?
I used to believe that certain things objectively meant that, even if he is not exclusive with you, he is leaning toward it. I always thought, for example, that when you meet each other's friends - no let me re-phrase it - when you meet the guy's friends, it's a sign that at least they like you enough to do the the "show'n'tel'n'judge" w/the boys. Now I am not so sure. Calling? What if that's just the guy's way of doing things? It's almost as if some of these things aren't happening then you are definitely NOT going anywhere. So, all I have left for "markers" is, really, either "the talk" or meeting the parents. What else is honestly left?
Thoughts?
GO BARACK!!!!!!!!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Goodbye My Ipod
Dear Ipod,
You've been with me for, a month shy of, three years. I still remember getting you in February, 2oo5. You arrived so perfect in that cute box and, unlike the IPods of today, you even had a real "in the wall" charger!!! I remember staying up nites to upload music and I've amassed over 2999 songs! I have so many memories associated with you! You were there for me! You've outlasted two of my boyfriends, countless sleepless nites, long train commutes and being dropped over and over again. In return, you got to go to Washington DC, Boston, Albany (ha!), upstate NY, NJ, San Francisco, Chile, cruise, London, and on countless trips to Long Island. You held music and for me and my eclectic (weird?) taste in music you held memories, of better and worse days.... I only wish I were not so stupid as to keep putting off and putting off backing you up on my laptop. After that big fiasco with the crushing of the laptop I lost all my backed up music :(. I also wish I remembered to transfer the list of songs out. Some of the songs I painstakingly looked for everywhere, others came from my wonderful friends, not so wonderful ex boyfriends and even less remarkable random dates. Ipod, I'll miss you.
You've been with me for, a month shy of, three years. I still remember getting you in February, 2oo5. You arrived so perfect in that cute box and, unlike the IPods of today, you even had a real "in the wall" charger!!! I remember staying up nites to upload music and I've amassed over 2999 songs! I have so many memories associated with you! You were there for me! You've outlasted two of my boyfriends, countless sleepless nites, long train commutes and being dropped over and over again. In return, you got to go to Washington DC, Boston, Albany (ha!), upstate NY, NJ, San Francisco, Chile, cruise, London, and on countless trips to Long Island. You held music and for me and my eclectic (weird?) taste in music you held memories, of better and worse days.... I only wish I were not so stupid as to keep putting off and putting off backing you up on my laptop. After that big fiasco with the crushing of the laptop I lost all my backed up music :(. I also wish I remembered to transfer the list of songs out. Some of the songs I painstakingly looked for everywhere, others came from my wonderful friends, not so wonderful ex boyfriends and even less remarkable random dates. Ipod, I'll miss you.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Cashmere Mafia
I saw the first episode of the Cashmere Mafia series yesterday. I couldn't resist. I was watching Desperate Housewives and smart people at ABC knew to follow it up with this new, and highly anticipated, show. Let me first say that I am a huge Sex and the City fan. I've seen every episode numerous times and watch it all the time on HBO on Demand. I don't love each and every episode and some I don't particularly care for, but overall, it's truly one of my most favorite shows of all times and I can't wait for the movie to come out in May. I keep hoping for a new Sex and the City that would be, if not bigger and better, but at least on par or not too far below. Did I find the replacement in Cashmere Mafia? Sadly, no.
I think, to me, what made Sex and the City special was the message I always got out of it - if you have your best girlfriends, determination, hope and drive you can do it. You can have it "all" and the "all" is not a cookie cutter concept. Every one's "all" is different and that's what makes our lives interesting. Each character brought something unique to the show and, at least for me, I could see a part of me in every one of them: Carry, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte. I guess, to me, yes it sounds silly, the show was always so positive, there was always that aura of optimism and a sense that yes, things will be great in the end. As I said, that's just me. I always got a warm fuzzy feeling inside from it. Go on, mock me, I don't care :).
With Cashmere Mafia, I don't know. Those rose glasses come off immediately. I think if the show seeks to empower women, it fails miserably. Essentially, I got two messages from the first episode. Well two and a half. The first was positive and reminiscent of Sex and the City - with your girlfriends by your side, anything is less miserable and life goes on no matter what else is crumbling around you. All you need are your trusted friends to sit you down and hand you a glass of wine. That part I liked. The other message(s) were less touching. There is no humility. The messages are (at least right now): the woman must ultimately pick between family/husband and great career. Message #2 was that men are dogs who cheat on their wives/can't put up with their girlfriends' success and ultimately just want to get laid and have their egos inflated Sure, I am not naive, I know it must be extremely difficult for powerful women to balance careers and having a family. I also have experienced first hand what it's like to have your boyfriend be jealous of your accomplishment, regardless of how silly that jealousy seems. I also understand that the premise of the show is to show it "like it is." One of the characters, after revealing to her friends after one of the friends saw her husband making out with their mortal enemy that she and the hubby have an arrangement that he gets to cheat on her, that "what can we expect from these men who earn less than we do, are not as powerful as we are ...blah blah." I understand all that with my mind, yet, at the same time, do I want this onerous message reinforced to me every Wednesday night at 10PM? I think not. I think I'm better off holding on to my Sex and the City ideal that for a modern woman in NYC, given time, it is possible to have "it all," whatever that "all" may be. In this world of positive thinking, I think we can all use a little more of that, no? Here is to hoping that NBC's Lipstick Jungle will be better!
With Cashmere Mafia, I don't know. Those rose glasses come off immediately. I think if the show seeks to empower women, it fails miserably. Essentially, I got two messages from the first episode. Well two and a half. The first was positive and reminiscent of Sex and the City - with your girlfriends by your side, anything is less miserable and life goes on no matter what else is crumbling around you. All you need are your trusted friends to sit you down and hand you a glass of wine. That part I liked. The other message(s) were less touching. There is no humility. The messages are (at least right now): the woman must ultimately pick between family/husband and great career. Message #2 was that men are dogs who cheat on their wives/can't put up with their girlfriends' success and ultimately just want to get laid and have their egos inflated Sure, I am not naive, I know it must be extremely difficult for powerful women to balance careers and having a family. I also have experienced first hand what it's like to have your boyfriend be jealous of your accomplishment, regardless of how silly that jealousy seems. I also understand that the premise of the show is to show it "like it is." One of the characters, after revealing to her friends after one of the friends saw her husband making out with their mortal enemy that she and the hubby have an arrangement that he gets to cheat on her, that "what can we expect from these men who earn less than we do, are not as powerful as we are ...blah blah." I understand all that with my mind, yet, at the same time, do I want this onerous message reinforced to me every Wednesday night at 10PM? I think not. I think I'm better off holding on to my Sex and the City ideal that for a modern woman in NYC, given time, it is possible to have "it all," whatever that "all" may be. In this world of positive thinking, I think we can all use a little more of that, no? Here is to hoping that NBC's Lipstick Jungle will be better!
I think it's appropriate to follow up with this article from the NYT
Fashion & Style
The Falling-Down Professions
By ALEX WILLIAMS
Published: January 6, 2008
For lawyers and doctors, gold-embossed diplomas are no longer so golden.
The Falling-Down Professions
By ALEX WILLIAMS
Published: January 6, 2008
For lawyers and doctors, gold-embossed diplomas are no longer so golden.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
YELLOW BELT!!!!
I did it! I am officially no longer a lowly white belt! I am a bona fide YELLOW belt!!!! I ddi write my "big" essay - no bluebook citations required tahnkyouverymuch! :). My topic of choice was "why would I recommend martial arts to someone." So I wrote that it's "a workout and therapy all in one." I just praised them A LOT. I love that place and, honestly, I sometimes feel I get 10x more out of the 45 minutes spent there than I do out of the 45minutes spent at the therapist's office. I did do Karate in HS before, but that Dojo was horrible and I would leave feeling like I had a scarlet L for "Loser" stamped permanently on my forehead. So yep, I am going to start training for my black belt - no laughing! I didn't go for a month and boy oh boy what a difference one month could make when you are not in great shape to begin with. Talk about embarassing. But, I did learn two new, amazing, self defense moves, so if anyone needs to be defended, you know where to find me!
http://www.dunnsdojo.com/index.html
And as much as I love karate, I must admit that watchign the Ju Jitsu class this morning was something else. All those men grappling each other. I don't know, stirred something in me. There were two women in the whole class. I don't know I guess it's more of a "manly" sport.
This is what I wish I could do
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z-v7zNkclME
This is what I actually do - to better music :)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TjiYauCN0Wg
http://www.dunnsdojo.com/index.html
And as much as I love karate, I must admit that watchign the Ju Jitsu class this morning was something else. All those men grappling each other. I don't know, stirred something in me. There were two women in the whole class. I don't know I guess it's more of a "manly" sport.
This is what I wish I could do
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z-v7zNkclME
This is what I actually do - to better music :)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TjiYauCN0Wg
Medical Errors et al
From the NYT
January 1, 2008
Cases
Explain a Medical Error? Sure. Apologize Too?
By SANDEEP JAUHAR, M.D.
Correction Appended
One morning not long ago, I got a call from the emergency room at my hospital. A young man — an intern, in fact, who had been on rounds that morning — had been admitted with chest pains. Could I come to evaluate him?
He was 30, a Pakistani man with a long face and a disconnected look, which I attributed to anxiety. I asked him about the pain. It had started after dinner the night before, lasting about 10 minutes. He had slept comfortably, but the pain recurred while he was walking to the bus stop that morning, persisting almost an hour. It was a dense pressure in the center of his chest. To be on the safe side, he had decided to leave rounds and come to the E.R.
His blood tests were normal, as was his first electrocardiogram. He had none of the traditional risk factors for heart disease. I suspected he was suffering from acute pericarditis, a usually benign inflammation of the membrane around the heart often treated with over-the-counter anti-inflammatory drugs. Characteristic of pericarditis, the pain worsened when he took a deep breath. I told him that if blood tests in six hours were normal, we would send him home. I joked that there were easier ways to get out of internship duty.
Later that morning, I got a call from an E.R. physician informing me that my patient’s pain had resolved completely after he took ibuprofen, further confirming the diagnosis of pericarditis. For a moment I considered sending him home right then, but I decided to wait until the next set of blood tests was complete.
Just before leaving the hospital that evening, I ran into a physicians’ assistant. He told me that my patient’s subsequent blood tests showed evidence of minor cardiac muscle damage. Though surprised, I quickly explained that the problem was probably myopericarditis, where inflammation of the surrounding membrane can partially involve the heart muscle.
He asked me whether the young doctor should have an angiogram to rule out artery blockages. It was late; I told him that any work-up could wait until morning. I assured him that a 30-year-old with no risk factors did not have coronary artery disease. I told him to draw more enzymes and to order a cardiac ultrasound for the morning, and to call me at home if there were problems.
My patient had chest pains through the night. Doctors who were called to see him attributed them to myopericarditis, the diagnosis written in the chart. Further blood tests showed evidence of continuing heart muscle injury. An EKG the following morning showed nonspecific signs consistent with a heart attack. Though I still doubted that he had coronary disease, I reluctantly sent him to the cardiac catheterization lab for an angiogram.
I received a call about an hour later asking me to come over to the lab. When I arrived, the angiogram was playing on a computer screen. It showed a complete blockage of the left anterior descending artery, the so-called widow-maker lesion. The artery looked like a lobster tail, unnaturally terminating after several centimeters. Within minutes, the blockage was opened with a balloon and a stent.
Afterward, in the control room, heat rose to my face as colleagues wandered in to inquire about what was going on. “How could we have missed this?” I asked aloud. I was well aware of the disturbing prevalence of heart disease in South Asians, whose risk is up to four times that of other ethnic groups. I knew that heart attacks in this population often occurred in men under 40, who often do not exhibit classic coronary risk factors. I knew all this, but somehow my mind had suffered a block.
“Don’t beat yourself up,” a colleague said sympathetically. “Every doctor I know would have done the same thing.” Another told me that it was his policy to “cath” almost anyone who came to the E.R. complaining of chest pains. In his opinion, the risks posed by routine angiograms were much less than that of a missed heart attack.
What now? I knew I had to explain myself, but how much should I say? Like all doctors, I had made errors before, but never one this big — and in my own specialty, too. Should I just tell my patient the facts? Should I apologize?
Most doctors are afraid to take responsibility for medical errors. We are acutely aware of the potential hazards — legal and professional — of taking ownership of a mistake. But studies have shown that physicians’ apologies do not necessarily increase malpractice lawsuits. In fact, they may protect against litigation. Twenty-nine states have enacted legislation encouraging such apologies, some even making physicians’ expressions of remorse inadmissible in court.
It was not always this way. Hospital legal departments routinely used to advise doctors never to admit responsibility for an error.
During my internship orientation nearly a decade ago, a lawyer for the hospital said that at some point in our careers every one of us would likely be sued. The lawyer offered some advice: document your decision-making; document when a patient refuses treatment; never admit wrongdoing; never talk to an opposing attorney; and, finally, be nice to your patients. Doctors who were nice to their patients were rarely sued, even in cases of egregious malpractice.
I couldn’t bring myself to talk to my patient in the cath lab, while everyone was watching, so I decided to wait until he got to the recovery room, where it was more private.
I found him there lying on a stretcher. The pain in his chest was gone, he happily informed me. However, the groin, where the catheter had been inserted, now hurt. “They substituted one pain for another,” he said, laughing.
I grasped the rails of the gurney. “I thought you had pericarditis,” I said carefully. “I was obviously wrong. I’m sorry.”
He seemed embarrassed. “No, no, please, the past is finished,” he replied. “I am more interested in the future.”
He asked about his prognosis. I told him that I thought it was good, though he would have to be on medications for the rest of his life. He nodded, looking disappointed.
A few days later, just before he was to be discharged, I stopped by his room. I asked him with whom he was going to follow up. He told me that he had been given the name of another cardiologist but that he had decided to go with me. “You have been terrific,” he said. “Thank you.”
I nodded silently, feeling empty. “You are much too generous,” I said.
Sandeep Jauhar is the author of a memoir, “Intern: A Doctor’s Initiation,” being published this month by Farrar, Straus & Giroux.
Correction: January 4, 2008
The Cases column in Science Times on Tuesday, about a doctor’s decision to apologize to a patient for a medical error, misstated the number of states that have enacted legislation encouraging such apologies. It is 29, not 17.
January 1, 2008
Cases
Explain a Medical Error? Sure. Apologize Too?
By SANDEEP JAUHAR, M.D.
Correction Appended
One morning not long ago, I got a call from the emergency room at my hospital. A young man — an intern, in fact, who had been on rounds that morning — had been admitted with chest pains. Could I come to evaluate him?
He was 30, a Pakistani man with a long face and a disconnected look, which I attributed to anxiety. I asked him about the pain. It had started after dinner the night before, lasting about 10 minutes. He had slept comfortably, but the pain recurred while he was walking to the bus stop that morning, persisting almost an hour. It was a dense pressure in the center of his chest. To be on the safe side, he had decided to leave rounds and come to the E.R.
His blood tests were normal, as was his first electrocardiogram. He had none of the traditional risk factors for heart disease. I suspected he was suffering from acute pericarditis, a usually benign inflammation of the membrane around the heart often treated with over-the-counter anti-inflammatory drugs. Characteristic of pericarditis, the pain worsened when he took a deep breath. I told him that if blood tests in six hours were normal, we would send him home. I joked that there were easier ways to get out of internship duty.
Later that morning, I got a call from an E.R. physician informing me that my patient’s pain had resolved completely after he took ibuprofen, further confirming the diagnosis of pericarditis. For a moment I considered sending him home right then, but I decided to wait until the next set of blood tests was complete.
Just before leaving the hospital that evening, I ran into a physicians’ assistant. He told me that my patient’s subsequent blood tests showed evidence of minor cardiac muscle damage. Though surprised, I quickly explained that the problem was probably myopericarditis, where inflammation of the surrounding membrane can partially involve the heart muscle.
He asked me whether the young doctor should have an angiogram to rule out artery blockages. It was late; I told him that any work-up could wait until morning. I assured him that a 30-year-old with no risk factors did not have coronary artery disease. I told him to draw more enzymes and to order a cardiac ultrasound for the morning, and to call me at home if there were problems.
My patient had chest pains through the night. Doctors who were called to see him attributed them to myopericarditis, the diagnosis written in the chart. Further blood tests showed evidence of continuing heart muscle injury. An EKG the following morning showed nonspecific signs consistent with a heart attack. Though I still doubted that he had coronary disease, I reluctantly sent him to the cardiac catheterization lab for an angiogram.
I received a call about an hour later asking me to come over to the lab. When I arrived, the angiogram was playing on a computer screen. It showed a complete blockage of the left anterior descending artery, the so-called widow-maker lesion. The artery looked like a lobster tail, unnaturally terminating after several centimeters. Within minutes, the blockage was opened with a balloon and a stent.
Afterward, in the control room, heat rose to my face as colleagues wandered in to inquire about what was going on. “How could we have missed this?” I asked aloud. I was well aware of the disturbing prevalence of heart disease in South Asians, whose risk is up to four times that of other ethnic groups. I knew that heart attacks in this population often occurred in men under 40, who often do not exhibit classic coronary risk factors. I knew all this, but somehow my mind had suffered a block.
“Don’t beat yourself up,” a colleague said sympathetically. “Every doctor I know would have done the same thing.” Another told me that it was his policy to “cath” almost anyone who came to the E.R. complaining of chest pains. In his opinion, the risks posed by routine angiograms were much less than that of a missed heart attack.
What now? I knew I had to explain myself, but how much should I say? Like all doctors, I had made errors before, but never one this big — and in my own specialty, too. Should I just tell my patient the facts? Should I apologize?
Most doctors are afraid to take responsibility for medical errors. We are acutely aware of the potential hazards — legal and professional — of taking ownership of a mistake. But studies have shown that physicians’ apologies do not necessarily increase malpractice lawsuits. In fact, they may protect against litigation. Twenty-nine states have enacted legislation encouraging such apologies, some even making physicians’ expressions of remorse inadmissible in court.
It was not always this way. Hospital legal departments routinely used to advise doctors never to admit responsibility for an error.
During my internship orientation nearly a decade ago, a lawyer for the hospital said that at some point in our careers every one of us would likely be sued. The lawyer offered some advice: document your decision-making; document when a patient refuses treatment; never admit wrongdoing; never talk to an opposing attorney; and, finally, be nice to your patients. Doctors who were nice to their patients were rarely sued, even in cases of egregious malpractice.
I couldn’t bring myself to talk to my patient in the cath lab, while everyone was watching, so I decided to wait until he got to the recovery room, where it was more private.
I found him there lying on a stretcher. The pain in his chest was gone, he happily informed me. However, the groin, where the catheter had been inserted, now hurt. “They substituted one pain for another,” he said, laughing.
I grasped the rails of the gurney. “I thought you had pericarditis,” I said carefully. “I was obviously wrong. I’m sorry.”
He seemed embarrassed. “No, no, please, the past is finished,” he replied. “I am more interested in the future.”
He asked about his prognosis. I told him that I thought it was good, though he would have to be on medications for the rest of his life. He nodded, looking disappointed.
A few days later, just before he was to be discharged, I stopped by his room. I asked him with whom he was going to follow up. He told me that he had been given the name of another cardiologist but that he had decided to go with me. “You have been terrific,” he said. “Thank you.”
I nodded silently, feeling empty. “You are much too generous,” I said.
Sandeep Jauhar is the author of a memoir, “Intern: A Doctor’s Initiation,” being published this month by Farrar, Straus & Giroux.
Correction: January 4, 2008
The Cases column in Science Times on Tuesday, about a doctor’s decision to apologize to a patient for a medical error, misstated the number of states that have enacted legislation encouraging such apologies. It is 29, not 17.
Great in '08
Yesterday I actually made it to Karate for the first time in a very very long time. It's good because that means after I finish writing my essay I can get my yellow belt! Yay! Finally! Of course it's a little unnerving that I have to write an essay to get something that I pay money for, but I guess that's just how it works. Surprisingly, my fave Sensei was teaching the class yesterday even though it's not his usual time slot. Lemme tell you, it is HARD to get back into something you haven't done in a month!!! Stuff that I could easily do before, well not so much. But I know it's doable, just a matter of time. Well as always, we had the little prep talk at the end of class. The topic was "I am going to be Great in '08." TO make the long story short, apparently, if you visualize and write down everything that you want to happen to you this year ("no matter how outlandish") and if you believe it, it has a 10x higher chance of happening than if you just want it to happen. He also said something like "goals are just hopes with deadlines" or something like that. So sit down, write down your dreams and aspirations for '08 and then go to step two and go out and make it happen!
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Friday, January 4, 2008
Wow!
If I had to do my journal note today, this would be the topic I'd pick: Commercial surrogacy
http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/
http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/
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